poziomeczka: ([jamie bell] milkshake)
GUMMY BEARS, CABBAGE PATCH KIDS, SUGARCUBES,  Flock, congregation, my firm believers.
Your ever faithful Reverends would like to humbly grovel for your forgiveness yet again, as this most modest and unconvinced of her own awesomeness Reverend has been so incredibly busy for the past weeks she has had hardly any time to attend to hers and yours spiritual and porny needs. She has slaved away, not by the beds of sexy Centurions, but over essays and she  is so happy that she can return to youse even if briefly.

Awright, writing about myself in the third person is kind of fucking weird, so I'll stop. 
FLOCK, I miss you. I've been pretty much MIA because of either wonderful, beautiful and gorgeous guests like your faithful Bishop [livejournal.com profile] lulahbelle or trying to finish dissertation proposals and class projects and freaking out over placements like a little bitch. It does my heid in cause this is like a fucking fiesta in this fandom, with [livejournal.com profile] eagle_exchange and [livejournal.com profile] eagle_bigbang, I haven't even had the time to catch up with all the masterpieces and yet they keep popping out like flowers in the midst of spring. Very fitting too! 

My lovely little raindrops of last days of March, I'd love to present to you  yet another Sunday Service, I have glimpsed so many new faces recently so I cannot but hope and see them during our porny masses. Kick back, relax and enjoy the show, the service and the ceremony. Porn with thy neighbour, for that is the will of the gods of m/m erotica! 


that sound? that was me, *chewing* the bed )
poziomeczka: ([jb] smoke)
BEAVERS, MOOSE, MAPLES, FLOCK. My time in Canada came to an end and I was returned, saddened immensely by parting with my fellow Reverend [livejournal.com profile] ladytiferet, onto the juicy meadows of my mother country. It was a bliss of fangirling squee but even that bliss had to come to an end. I shall not pine needlessly however, dear congregation, and pour my love onto youse despite my sorrow! 
YOUSE ARE, AS ALWAYS, A MOST GRACIOUS AUDIENCE AND WE LOVE YOU DEARLY. YOU ARE A MOST GRACIOUS ALTAR FOR THE SEXY SACRIFICES THAT COME THROUGH OUR DOORS. NO FIERCE BRITON OR RESPLENDENT CENTURION CAN EVER REST SAFE WITH YOU AROUND AND I AM PROUD TO BE A PART OF IT. 

My sugarpuffs of candyfloss, I'm happy to greet you for yet another Sunday Service!!! As you can see we are trying once again, to keep ourselves b back on schedule and we hope we shall not make you roll your eyes and tap your feet impatiently in anticipation of another. Hello and welcome to all the faces, those familiar ones and those completely new! Enjoy yourselves, exchange ideas, laugh, love, play and porn.

    


Ab imo pectore )
poziomeczka: ([st.john] white-hot burn)
Dearly BELOVED,
We have gathered here today for a very special Sunday Service indeed. For today, dear examplars of marine fauna flock, we have gathered here en masse to honour the commemorration of our most talented and most keen in the filthiest filth that ever filthed; that beautiful, the fabulous Vicar of ours; [livejournal.com profile] lallyloo. She is the lantern of this fandom. She is the fire and the mulberry bush. If you have somehow managed to go though this fandom *blindfolded* and remain a stranger to the flourished blow-jobs beauty of her work FOR SHAME OH FOR SHAME you should remedy the errors of your ways INSTANTLY. Wish her a very happy birthday and visit her AO3 account. It's fresh out of the oven and a host to all her gems. They are more sparkly than certain excuses for vampires and can be found here

My sunrays of joy, I'm happy to greet you for yet another Sunday Service!!! As you can see we are right back on schedule and we hope we shall not make you roll your eyes and tap your feet impatiently in anticipation of another. Our timetable will be one to rival Scotsrail I'm sure. Which all in all should not be that difficult. Hello and welcome to all the faces, those familiar ones and those completely new! Enjoy yourselves, exchange ideas, laugh, love, play and porn.


    


Leve fit, quod bene fertur, onus  )
poziomeczka: ([st.john] moors)
MY STUNNING PARISHIONERS, I apologize PROFUSEDLY for the fact that this Sunday Service is very much well...a Wednesday  Service. I shall forever grovel for your forgiveness, good flock. However, as you know I'm on kinda-sorta-hiatus and only peeking in to have a break from my less-than-tenacious studying. I will be back with a bang and half once 18th passes. 
AND HERE WE ARE in the fresh, new year. I hope you all had wonderful, sweet time with your families and loved ones. That it was positively exhausting and you wanted to kill someone over dinner, because you know it's not really Christmas without a serious body-count. I also expect you have had plenty of belligerent fun and smooched some innocent souls over crisp Champagne, corrupting them forever. I HOPE WE WILL HAVE ANOTHER BLESSED YEAR OF FROLICKING AND PORNING, STIMULATING CONVERSATIONS AND BEAUTIFUL FICS. 

MY FELLOW REVEREND (whom I owe a great many thanks) AND I WOULD LIKE  TO WELCOME YOU TO YET ANOTHER SUNDAY SERVICE. Whether you are returning for yet another mass to sustain your mortal soul or whether you, led by curiosity or the illuminating light of porn, are here to experience the service for the first time. I would like to issue a warm warm welcome to ALL. EVERYONE WHO KNOCKS WILL BE WELCOME. ALWAYS.

    

stay golden! )



Prompt 3

Esca/Marcus - modern AU, bar brawl, rough sex
Esca and Marcus get into a serious bar fight, preferably on opposite sides and end up fucking each other's brains out.
Maybe they knew each other before. Maybe they belong to rival gangs/frats/subcultures. It's all up to the AA, as long as there is some snarling and biting involved :).

FILLED:
[livejournal.com profile] lulahbelle's A stranger's rule 



 ORPHANAGE

I would like to announce (and remind) you all that one of our beautiful orphans, a strong, muscular and true has been adopted by the saucy [livejournal.com profile] ideserveyou in:
11) Esca/Marcus, canon era, uniform kink
So, one day, for whatever reason (nostalgia? IDK) Marcus puts on his old centurion uniform. Esca walks in/helps him put it on, and finds it fuckhot. Nature takes its course. ;)

FILLED: the time before
last week's orphans

Prompt 1

Esca/Liathan (Seal Prince)/Marcus - cuddling
Esca falls ill/has an accident while staying with the Seal Tribe, and both the Seal Prince and Marcus are concerned about his health. Esca delirious with fever, with Liathan and Marcus each at one of his sides.

I invisioned that the Prince and Marcus would be fighting over Esca's affection, while all Esca wants is release. He wouldn't care if it were only one or both of them.

Also it would be funny if Esca was all cuddly with them and didn't remember a thing when he was better, or at least only vaguely, but it's up to the author.

a rather inspired comment by miss aeroport_art

Prompt 2

Esca/Marcus
Esca wants to know why Marcus saved him.

Prompt 4

[AU] Esca/Marcus
Hexcuse me, but where is the prison AU? Esca as the top dog who takes newbie Marcus under his wing to protect him from the Seal Prince, Marcus running the show with Esca as his fiercely loyal second in command- I DON'T CARE JUST PLEASE LET THIS EXIST!



Prompt 1 

Esca/Marcus
inspired by this photo of Channing Tatum
After returning from the north, Marcus gets a little too comfortable and gains a little weight. He hates it and wants to lose it, but Esca secretly loves it.
THIS HAS BEEN MOST THOUGHTFULLY SUGGESTED BY OUR LOVELY DEACON [livejournal.com profile] lallyloo AND HOW COULD I IGNORE SOMETHING SO SUPERB? I THINK NOT. 


Prompt 2 

Esca/Marcus - watersports
Remember in the movie, after his surgery Marcus asks Esca, "Did I shame myself?" and Esca says, "No."
Well, imagine Marcus did actually wet himself, and Esca was immensely turned on changing Marcus from his soiled . Fast forward, Esca likes Marcus to lose control of his bladder, and Marcus discovers he likes to let it go, and be taken care of afterwards by Esca.

SUGGESTED BY THE WONDROUS ARCHBISHOP [livejournal.com profile] riventhorn AND I KNOW THAT THE ENTHUSIASM FOR IT HAS BEEN PREVIOUSLY SHOWN BY LOVELY [livejournal.com profile] planejane AND LET'S BE HONEST, THE IDEA IS APPEALING. 
FILLED BY LOVELY [livejournal.com profile] tracy7307 in Deep by Deep

Prompt 3

Esca/Marcus (writer/literary agent AU)
Esca is very eccentric and popular writer. Marcus is his agent who keeps him alive when Esca is working (he's making him diners and doing his laundry...). Marcus is basically his slave who can't even work with other authors because Esca is really possessive (also evil). One day Marcus discovers that in his free time Esca writes porn stories about Marcus the Centurion and his slave Esca...stories that couldn't be more different form what is happening between Esca and Marcus in their real life (and that means Esca making Marcus life miserable and Marcus lusting after him in his pathetic puppy-like way).

*YOU*, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I'M LOOKING AT YOU. IT HAS YOUR NAME ON IT.
*COUGH* WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS, THIS IS AN ADORABLE AND LOVELY PROMPT IN NEED OF ADOPTION. 

Prompt 4

Esca/Marcus - Regency! AU, Austen style h/c, UST, repressed!guys
Marcus and Esca are countryside-dwelling aristocracy, and they are neighbours, have been for a couple of months now, but they've just met during a hunt. The sparks flew, instant chemistry, but both of them are properly repressed and distrustful, so nothing happened.

Several days later, in the middle of a big storm, Marcus finds Esca unconscious in the fields, drenched and feverish. Apparently, he felt unwell earlier and when he went riding he fell off his horse.
Marcus carries him to his house and takes care of him Austen-style.

There is a lot of perving on unconscious Esca, maybe some help with changing , wiping off sweat, feeding, whole lotta of repressed UST, and a happy end ;]

REMEMBER 'ORANGES ARE NOT THE ONLY FRUIT'? WHAT THE HELL TO HAPPENED TO THE GENIUS THAT WAS THAT FIC? WE EVIDENTLY NEED ANOTHER AU WITH WAISTCOATS AND CRAVATS. GET ON IT, FLOCK. GET ON IT. 

I hope that you have genuinely enjoyed our prompts for this
evening/very early morning and that they will spice things up for you
this week and PLEASE ALL YOUR SENSES. As always we are very open to
all everyone old and new, be whether you'd like to suggest prompts
for next week's Service or just let us know of things more
general, do not hesitate to contact us via PM or email or you know, a
pigeon.

We remain,
Your Obedient Servants in Porn.
The Reverends

Photobucket
poziomeczka: ([st.john] white-hot burn)
HEY! ALL YOU HELOTS, YOU ZEALOTS, YOU PELOPONNESIANS, YOU LEKADEAMONS.
ALL OF LEONIDAS’S ARMY! LET’S GET BARMY!
Errr whoops. Sorry wrong pep talk.
MISTRESSES, HAREM CONGREGATION. You are a flock of superior kind. Your zeal would make St. John Rivers clap and jump up and down in approval. Or at least nod fervently, colour high on his cheeks. Your dedication, friendliness and good cheer, shown so voraciously each week never ceases to leave me and my fellow Reverend speechless. Sometimes, I think of us as a super-cool, quaffed 50s street gang, a bit like that:
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But I think we might be a bit more like this:
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But substituting mambo with porn.


MY FELLOW REVEREND AND I WOULD LIKE YOU TO WELCOME TO YET ANOTHER SUNDAY SERVICE. Whether you are returning for yet another mass to sustain your mortal soul or whether you, led by curiosity or the illuminating light of porn, are here to experience the service for the first time. I would like to issue a warm warm welcome to ALL. EVERYONE WHO KNOCKS WILL BE WELCOME. ALWAYS.



Photobucket


O di immortales! )
poziomeczka: ([st. john] the stale wind in your wings)
LET US BE HONEST WITH ONE ANOTHER, DEAR FLOCK. FOR, TO QUOTE FATHER JAMIE BELL, THE TRUTH SHALL SET US FREE. Let's be truthful with one-another and admit that in fact, we are all pretty fucking kick-arse. Yes, I mean every single one of you, you cute little bastards.
Last week, has not disappointed, no. As usual we have flailed, ficced, discussed, perved. And greeted, inappropriately I might add, some lovely new faces that Reverend Tif ([livejournal.com profile] ladytiferet and I hope to see of masses yet to follow.

I AM AS BOLD AS TO THINK YOU SO AWESOME, CONGREGATION, THAT YOU COULD EVEN KICK THE ARSE OF THOSE SUPER MUTANT NINJA NUNS:
Photobucket

MY FELLOW REVEREND AND I WOULD LIKE YOU TO WELCOME TO YET ANOTHER SUNDAY SERVICE. Whether you are returning for yet another mass to sustain your mortal soul or whether you, lead by curiosity or the illuminating light of porn, are here to experience the service for the first time. I would like to issue a warm warm welcome to ALL.



Photobucket


Aspirat primo Fortuna labori )
poziomeczka: ([st.john] rain)
DARLING CONGREGATION, a warm good evening and a sticky pudding welcome to every single one of you. I cannot express how wonderful it is to see every single one of your lovely, pretty faces. Reverend [livejournal.com profile] ladytiferet and I were so happy to see such intent mass participation last week when the Sunday Service reared again into action like an engine of a vintage muscle car. It was a gorgeous and thrilling sight to behold.
You all deserve a round of applause.
Photobucket
WELL DONE, ALL OF YOU, WELL DONE.
BE IT FICCING, BE IT FLAILING, COMMENT-PORNING, PROPOSITIONING FELLOW MEMBERS OF THE CONGREGATION. YOU HAVE ALL DONE BRILLIANTLY.

I couldn't help but notice quite a few bright faces, you know who you are, oh new mass-attendants. I hope you enjoy the sermons and come back again. Please make yourselves at home in the parish. Flock, make them feel welcome. That is, after all, what we do. Preach and devirginise.



Photobucket


Mundus vult decipi )
poziomeczka: ([tin tin] quiff)
AHOY, WELCOME, BIENVENUE, WILKOMMEN, WITAJCIE, FAILTE AND WHATEVER THE HELL YESE BLOODY WANT.
after those couple of weeks of hiatus, enforced by matters outside of human control, we're back in business!
Since in the past couple of weeks I've also managed to meet more of the churchgoers face-to-face that I could have expected and I'd like to issue an honourable special mention to [livejournal.com profile] motetus and [livejournal.com profile] lalazee for being thousand times adorable, awesome and hilarious. I'd also like to issue another one for my current and patient guest, who might not be a mass-goer herself but is nevertheless an epitome of faith [livejournal.com profile] coeurdesoleil BUT ABOVE ALL AND PLEASE DO NOT HOLD IT AGAINST ME, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ABUSE MY REVEREND POWERS AN DEDICATE THIS MASS TO MY FELLOW REVEREND [livejournal.com profile] ladytiferet WHO HAS BEEN PARTED FROM ME, STOLEN MERCILESSLY BY CLUTCHES OF NORTH AMERICA. I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT THAT EACH MILE OF GEOGRAPHICAL DISTANCE CAN BE FELT SO DEEPLY. I miss you, Reverend! Yet working as a missionary in the heathen forests of Canada, shall bring you fame, of that I am sure. TAKE CARE OF HER,LOVELY CANADIANS, PUT MAPLE SYRUP IN HER COFFEE.

WELCOME TO ALL AND SUNDRY! I'd like to issue a warm, sticky and familiar welcome to all of you wonderful, irreplaceable, stunning mass-goers and a highly improper and gropey welcome to all of you that happen to pop yer cherry on this particular mass. That is, after all, what we do. Preach and devirginise.





Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi? )
poziomeczka: ([st.john] moors)
OH YE FAITHFUL.
The past week has been absolutely marvellous, you persistence and faith, devotion and zeal to most rampant sinning, it pleases the capricious deities of porn, I assure you, dear flock. THINGS OF BEAUTY HAVE BEEN PRODUCES, UNIQUE AND INTRICATE AND IT IS ALL THANKS TO YOU. Those who had strayed into firm morale and unblemished sexual conduct have broken the seals of their purity and have set themselves free, popping their cherries with wonderful first-time submissions. HOW IT HAS PLEASED THE REVERENDS, ONE CANNOT BEGIN TO IMAGINE. WE HAVE LOOKED UPON THE FIELDS OF OUR LABOUR AND WE DID GRIN BENEVOLENTLY UPON THE SEXINESS BEFORE US.
FOR IT WAS SEXY.

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT ATTENDED THE MASS BEFORE I WOULD LIKE TO ISSUE A VERY WARM AND STICKY WELCOME. IT'S WARM AND STICKY AND INAPPROPRIATE LIKE ALL GOOD THINGS ARE. I HOPE YOU WON'T BE STRANGERS IN THE FUTURE.

Photobucket


Da mihi basilia mille )
poziomeczka: ([st.john] rev. rivers is shocked)
FIRST OF ALL, TIF (SADLY IN ABSENTIA TONIGHT) AND I WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME ALL AND SUNDRY TO THE CONGREGATION, THE SUPER-EPIC FRIENDING MEME AT THE [livejournal.com profile] ninth_eagle SHOVELED ME SOME NEW FRIENDS AND I WOULD LIKE TO ISSUE AN EXTREMELY ENTHUSIASTIC AND INAPPROPRIATE (*GROPE GROPE*) 'HULLO' IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION. I HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY THIS WEEK'S MASS AND THAT YOU WON'T HESITATE FROM CHECKING OUT THE PREVIOUS ONES, AS THEY HAVE BEEN MOST EXCELLENT INDEED.

AND THE CONTRIBUTIONS! OH THE CONTRIBUTIONS! SUCH GENEROUS HAVE BEEN OUT BENEFACTORS. IT WOULD MAKE DEAR SIN JIN BLUSH. WELL ACTUALLY, I AM PRETTY SURE A LOT OF THINGS WOULD. HOWEVER, I AM ALSO SURE HE'D ADMIRE OUR FIRMNESS AND ZEAL JUST AS MUCH AS HE'D SCORN OUR DEVOTION IN THE WAYS OF SIN.

Photobucket
)


Acta sanctorum )
poziomeczka: ([st.john] rev. rives is piqued)
for all my new friends and people who have not previously encountered The Sunday Service I must warn your of the blasphemy that is about to take place. Some may find this offensive

FIRST OF ALL.
THE REVERENDS (that is [livejournal.com profile] ladytiferet and I)WOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS THEIR UTTERMOST GRATITUDE FOR YOUR (AND BY THAT I MEAN AUTHORS, CHEERLEADERS, COMMENTATORS STRAY PROSTITUTES) INCREDIBLE, AND I MEAN, *INCREDIBLE* PARTICIPATION.
ALL OF THE PROMPTS FROM LAST WEEK'S SERVICE HAVE BEEN FILLED. *ALL OF THEM* AND THE WEEKS BEFORE HAD SEEN 3/4 OF THE SUGGESTED PROMPTS FILLED.

WE ARE SPEECHLESS WITH JOY. WORN OUT FROM ALL THE SEAL-CLAPPING AND ALL THAT IS LEFT FOR US TO DO IS LIE IN THE SNOW (TO COOL OFF FROM ALL THE SCORCHING PORN) AND BLINK UNSEEINGLY AHEAD.


Photobucket


*
*
*
Photobucket


we will grab you tight and raise you from perdition. or well, push you further into it )


I hope that you have genuinely enjoyed our prompts for this evening and that they will provide both some heated excitement and THAT THEY WILL SERVE TO PLEASE ALL YOUR SENSES. As always we are very open to all everyone old and new, be whether you'd like to suggest prompts for next weeks Service or just let us know of things more general, do not hesitate to contact us.

We remain,
Your Obedient Servants in Porn.
The Reverends

and always remember to SIN BOLDLY

AND LEAVE YOUR KNICKERS AT THE DOOR

blasphemous words by [livejournal.com profile] poziomeczka and divine art by [livejournal.com profile] ladytiferet
poziomeczka: ([st.john] and the word became flesh)
Gems and germs, my beautiful authors and beautiful cheerleaders. Last week has not been as overwhelming fruitful as the Sunday Service had the first time around but we have still received some HIGHLY PROMISING OFFERS and de-lurked some notorious, impish little lurkers (I'm looking at you, Morgan The Marvellous ;)) and some wonderful authors decided to adopt previously pimped prompts.
SERIOUSLY GUYS, I SIMPLY CANNOT THANK EVERYONE ENOUGH. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS.


Photobucket


forgive us not Father, for we have sinned )
poziomeczka: ([st.john] mask your life with a lie)
This has little to do with sermon to follow, but I'd like to wave my new friend [livejournal.com profile] subterrain, who wrote a gorgeous My kindly and most gracious master that yese all should go and read. Welcome to our most fervent congregation

BEFORE WE BEGIN TIF AND I WOULD LIKE TO SAY A MASSIVE MASSIVE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE! WE HAD NOT EXPECTED THE RESPONSE WE GOT, NOT ONLY FIC-WISE (BECAUSE THAT JUST BLEW OUR MINDS, SERIOUSLY WE HAD 3 WITHIN 18 HOURS AND MORE FOLLOWED SUIT) BUT ALSO FLAILING WISE. IT WAS WONDERFUL TO SEE SO MUCH HUMOUR AND BANTER AND ENTHUSIASM AND HONESTLY IT BRINGS TEARS TO OUR EYES. IT TRULY DOES.

Photobucket

ONCE AGAIN A MASSIVE HUG AND THANKS TO EVERYONE.


We also have a couple of lovely newcomers that I would like the say a very warm hello to (as if you know, I haven't PMed your sorry arses to my hearts content already).

Photobucket


O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL )

snagged as Big Bang project by [livejournal.com profile] originalpuck

I hope that you have enjoyed our prompts for this evening and that you shall be as devoted as your humble servants; The Reverends. If we could we'd make youse all Bishops.

We remain,
Your Obedient Servants in Porn.
The Reverends

blasphemous words by [livejournal.com profile] poziomeczka and divine art by [livejournal.com profile] ladytiferet

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