let's have tea in the MASTURBATORY!

AMAZONS AND OTHER BEAUTIFUL CREATURES, your Reverends are known for many things. For their fervour, general obnoxiousness, loudness and BLATANT impropriety. Sadly, time-keeping is not one of those things. Which is why this Reverend right here is left once again to PROFUSELY  apologize for the gross neglect the masses have recently been met with. Unfortunately, I do not think scrawling 'COULD NOT REVISE FOR RELIGIOUS/BLASPHEMOUS REASONS' on the cover page of my exam would have secured me a pass. Though then again, I might have as well have written than. It would break the flow of bullshit I ended up settling for nicely. Exams might be over and done with but sadly higher education still seems intent on ruining my life. However, enough about me. I hope that the most tragic hiatus the Sunday Service had to suffer, has not send you into throes of despair. OR WORSE, purity. Urgh, I dread to think of you, my beautiful dirty-minded flock, all sparkly and shiny and *pure* in your white robes. IT IS A FRIGHTFUL AND FORBIDDING IMAGE. 
I am filled with hope that this dark scenario has not taken place and that you shall come floating in with your usual enthusiasm. I'd also like to assure you that from this Sunday on, we're right back on schedule. 

AND AGAIN, THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES AND FICS AND ART. YOU MAKE ME FEEL ABASHED WITH ALL THE LOVE. I AM BUT THE HUMBLE SERVANT OF THE PEOPLE. ENTIRELY UNWORTHY OF YOUR PASSIONATE AFFECTION. AND YET YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A MONARCH. CROWN AND COAT ALL IN TOW.