let's have tea in the MASTURBATORY!

A wonderful, decadent and hat-wearing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the undeniably *cutest* coeurdesoleil!!!
Babe, you deserve the most amazing birthday out there. With champagne and strawberries in bed brought on a tray by Chris Pine, presents containing magnificent top hats and stupendous vintage dresses. Birthday cake rolling in on a trolley, with Jamie Bell poised to jump out of it. AND ABSOLUTELY NO BALLOONS. I wish you were here so we could go to Hamleys and scare off all the kids there by playing in the sandbox, and then we could go to see Man on a Ledge cause *of course* something of Jamie Bell's premiers on the day of your birth!
Sadly, you're not here BUT (or should I say BUTT for yours is awesome) I hope you will have an absolutely BANGIN' birthday regardless.



( Gratulerer med dagen )

P&P is finished. done. ladies and (stray) gentlemen. Yesterday we have woken to greet the last day of an era. Today the horizon we greet is going to be different. Friday may still mean the beginning of the weekend, but it will be MAGICAL NO MORE.
I haven't even read it yet. I have been bracing myself for it all morning. And then afternoon.
IT'S HARD OKAY?


ALSO FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE HOOKER!CHAINFIC. THOUGH I AM CONSIDERABLY BETTER. AM HOPING TO GET SOME WRITING DONE TONIGHT.

in the meantime! recs!
vixys is quite possibly the best addition to this motherflipping fandom guys and I am happy to say she's in our CLUTCHES (mwahahahaahaha ♥). Yese should have seen how Tif and I plotted yesterday. Super-villains.
Either way, I have recced the lovely vixys to youse before but she wrote a stunning two-part
( the sunshine lies ) and a beautifully poignant fill to a kmm asphyxiation prompt ( breathe for me ). Powerful, poetic writing at its best.

Speaking of powerful things. Do you remember that beautiful vid by my good friend and part-time molester bachaboska?

theswearingkind wrote a wonderful, sweet and heartbreaking fic to keep this magnificent vid company ( hold with those who favour fire )

and of course ( a collar of grass ) by sineala
because I am a slave to her Directedverse fics.

OTHER THAN THAT. Tif and I were thinking to crank our pimping powers up A NOTCH and introduce a Sunday Service (Tif we should have banners), where we'd pimp prompts that are WORTHY OF CONSIDERATION BUT SOMEHOW ABANDONED. do you guys think that's a good idea?

Manda floatxxaway and I attempted to Skype last night. It was more 'sounds of the jungle during mating season' than a human conversation but we fangirled over Placidus. WHERE IS ALL THE PLACIDUS FIC, EVERYBODY?

also waving my new friends hullo!

ORAL FIXATION. HE HAS IT.





TIF. NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING HE LOOKS LIKE A KITTEN.

SO JANE EYRE.

bitches, I have no idea how I am still alive like I am pretty sure I have expired but I haven't fully realized it yet so basically I might be typing this from my grave/as a poltergeist.

( jane eyre ponderings )

AND NOW OFF TO THE MEGMOBILE!!

I need a new catchphrase evidently.

I shall present you today with some oldies but goodies:
THE EAGLE:
SLASH. Marcus/Esca. ( Rest Safe ) by mirandaeostre PG-13 or Gen whatevs. This is a lovely short snippet written for a kmm prompt: Deleted scene from movie after Uncle Aquila buys Esca for Marcus. He intends for Marcus to use Esca for sexytimes as well as help but Marcus is embarrassed maybe aroused. and I am sure a lot of you have read it already. It is definitely sweet and shows the first budding respect between the two of them and honestly I just feel that it needs more feedback it got.

SLASH/GEN. Marcus/Esca but not really. ( To The Glory of Nova Roma ) by mirandaeostre. R. I am honestly to god surprised that this fic has not become a fandom legend, but I think very few people actually know about it's existence, I myself found it thanks to the lovely awarrington. It is an incredibly engaging AU where the Roman Empire still exists and reigns, and has this wonderful silky feel of a very good film noir. I can't recommend it enough and I hope she keeps writing in this 'verse.

SLASH. Marcus/Esca. ( Cannot Tell A Lie ) &&( Written in Every Line of Your Palm ) by frackin_sweet NC-17. If the author's name is not enough to lure you in, then let me tell you. MARCUS'S BED OF FURRS FEATURES IN IT. LIKE, A LOT. OKAY??? a very insightful, beautifully written fic that I could read over and over.

SLASH. Marcus/Esca. ( Ringed with Silver ) by carmarthen NC-17. It's the answer to the piercing prompt at the kmm and if you think it's going to be short and cracky then well, think twice, this is an incredible, emotional and above all wonderfully written epic. ALSO SCORCHINGLY HOT, BUT I'LL LEAVE THIS FOR YOUSE TO DECIDE.

and now for something cracky and adorable ( Esca is a Bad-Tempered Briton and Short like a girl ) by aeroport_art, it's the second fill for a kmm prompt where Marcus gets a slave who develops a crush on Esca, it's sweet and funny and just a joy to read and I really hope for a sequel.

Okay, so I apologise for no fic. I was scribbling it down in the park yesterday (I bumped into my pal, it was very awkward, pretending it was not porn) and it's growing enormous. as in enormous. and i kinda need to weave in porn into channing's crazy inner monologue. like seriously.

also i'm getting increasingly cought up in the indy jones!au, i wanna start outlining it. this will be like, my first thing with actual plot pwoah.

So basically, I will post something later tonight if I get some of my essay done. You know that stuff I have to do to graduate with decent marks. YEAH THAT THING.

Anyway, as I accidentally enlightened coeurdesoleil in the ways of fic. A rare feat since I'm always the one behind and like people tell me stuff and I'm like WHUT? WHUT?
but encouraged by this rare flash of fic knowledge I decided to pimp some fiction, yo.

do people still say YO?

well, anygays.
YO DAWGS.

STOP WHATEVER YOUSE ARE DOING AND READ!

The Blood Knows The Path by linaerys is a magnificent story woven and writhing within the whole Eagle universe. There are Romanized slutty Britons, honourable Marcuses and jelaous Escas. A beautiful, beautiful fic.
( Esca is a bad slave. Stephanos and Sassticca, who runs the kitchen, are at pains to make sure he knows this. )

The Kissing Series! I think everyone has read it, but you know. Just in case.
A Thousand and a Hundred More by carmarthen, where Esca is really rather confused about this whole kissing business: ( Esca is confused by this weird Roman custom of licking people's mouths, and asks Marcus to explain. Demonstrate. Something. )

If It Feels Good Do It by sineala, man I love this girl's writing, so I strongly, stronly recommend you check oot her other fics. In this one Esca teaches Marcus about the 'best kind of kissing': ( Summary: Esca has kissed people before. Only not on the mouth. )

and then it spurred on another one! by savvierthanu about another kind of kissing :P ( Kiss Me, Take Me )

The Dagger by planejane, Marcus may have a tiny peen but Esca knows how to use it.
Fill for a kink meme, and a rather brilliant one too:
( Esca splashes his face with cool water, takes a deep breath and leaves his cell. Since returning south with the Eagle, he has his own room, next to Marcus, in Uncle Aquila's house. )

The Persistence of Memory by savvierthanu, one of my favourite things I think. And Amnesia!Fic that's just megasweet and painful and hot and you just want to cuddle those boys. More than usual.
( Am I simple? Marcus looks horrified so he amends the question. I mean, was I simple? )

a white collar au! by addandsubtract, now I haven't seen an episode of white collar in my life, but did not stop me from LOVING this. is superb! superb! and there are two parts :)
( 189 ) && ( 191 )

REMEMBER THAT PORN AU PROMPT I MADE AFTER DISCUSSING IT EXTENSIVELY WITH vivid_moment?
WELL IT GOT FILLED AND FILLED IN STYLE, AND I CANNOT, I REPEAT, CANNOT; PIMP IT ENOUGH:
( So I could give it up, he murmurs, not looking up from where he's sliding their cocks together.become a bin-man. That'd still get you hot? )

WIPS worth checking oot:
( Bloody Money ) --> Stockholm Syndrome prompt fill

( By the Sword ) ---> insanely awesome gladiator! au, where Marcus is kinda like a teenage girl. in the best way possible.

( Blue For You ) ---> Esca gets an Eagle tattooed onto his back. To, you know, spell it out for Marcus. Or maybe even draw a picture.

EDIT:

FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE!
( Second Chances )
I read it this morning and well, even though I've seen it around I didn't think I'd like it. It's very good. A tricky task well performed; Marcus is a hitman who's about to commit suicide and Esca's an escort.
AND THIS ONE:
( Something Like A Step-Up AU )
unnervingly intriguing and Marcus's hilarious. Though a little bit dim.

EDIT NUMBER TWO!
GEEZUS. I MIGHT AS WELL MAKE ANOTHER POST.
DUDE'S FEI MADE THIS CHANNING FRECKLES TRIBUTE OVER HEERE:
( see, in that video i didn\'t even realize he was speaking *is shallow* )

LOOK AT HIM, JUST LOOK AT BABY!BELL (HAAHAHA IT'S LIKE THE CHEESE!! IT'S CUTE...SHUT UP!) HERE:





HOW COME THERE ISN'T A TEACHER AU IN THIS FANDOM?
WITH MARCUS AS A TEACHER? OR ESCA AS A TEACHER-IN-TRAINING?

ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

also i'm sorry for lack of fic, i'm down with a viral infection and i have thousands of essays to finish this week but i wrote some of the continuation when i was in my bath so i should have it up soon.

Title if you have nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire
Pairing Channing/Jamie
Fandom The Eagle RPS (don't even start me)
Rating through the roof (NC-17)
Warnings SEMI-PUBLIC SEX (AGAIN!!), Jamie's very FIERCE?
Disclaimer LIES LIES!! I own nothing. If I did. I'd be sending you movies instead of fic.
DEDICATED TO ALL OF YOU. YOUSE KNOW WHO YOUSE ARE!!



He should have noticed it earlier, Channing berates himself with that slim, slight part of his brain that still has the remains of blood in it. He should have noticed he thinks. Admittedly, he has never been particularly sharp in those matters as Jenna frequently told him. She has never really been the one to hesitate in pointing out when he was being extremely dim about one thing or other. He loved her for that.



It's hard to think with all that glorious bare skin moving before him and his back feels sore and like it might snap if Jamie keeps on going like this. But Channing knows that were he to stop he would probably die from a different affliction altogether.



He should have noticed earlier



But he's so used to being pushed into cubicles, alleyways, walls and not-at-all-as-abandoned-as-they-look hallways, that it's hardly anything out of the ordinary.
He expected as much, and god knowing, knowing that Jamie was about to shove him into the staff bathroom, his hand splayed urgently so urgently over Channing's broad chest, it was enough. Those lust-heavy seconds when he knew that god, god any moment now it was going to happen. Like seeing a train wreck and not being able to look away. The anticipation of it, of that glint in Jamie's cobalt eyes, a glimpse of something predatory and primal, bone-deep ancient and feral. That was enough to make him stiff.



Channing might have made the word up, but he wasn't lying when he told the interviewer that Jamie was a "go'er". He always maneuvered him with startling efficiency, all that compact strength and speed fused in a single-minded purpose; Jamie's quick hands and mouth everywhere on him all at once. And who was Channing to defend himself against that?



He always joked that it was a bit like being manhandled by an extremely crafty otter.
And a rather frisky one too.



There's something about public places, Channing swears---
However, no matter how insistent Jamie is, and well he's pretty insistent, there's always an amused smile or a fondly exasperated eyeroll.



It's different this time somehow, more raw, more violent. It happens so fast that before Channing can question it, much less actually have a say in what is happening to him, Jamie's straddling his lap, Channing's cock buried deep within his arse and oh god it has to hurt him, it has to, and oh god---
He's. He's sleek. He's sleek inside.
He planned this all along, the little bastard.
And just the mental picture of Jamie, in his hotel room, fucking himself open---






Jamie's eyes are hooded and unreadable and he doesn't say a word between his shallow pants.
He has always been a mouthy fuck. His wonderful little mouth running ahead of him, demanding and directing, accent growing thicker as he loses himself, telling Channing to fucking do it already that he needs yes and more and this and don't you dare slow down you son-of-a-bitch---



But not this time. No.



It's tight and so good and Jamie looks magnificent and terrifying, like a sea-storm. He throws his head back, exposing the long column of his throat, his shirt open as his hands palm at the painted wood on the each side of the cubicle. His ribs move under his skin as he viciously slams himself down onto Channing cock.



He looks like some pagan god lost in a ritual to his own worship. Powerless against the frenzy.
Channing's large hands rest tightly on Jamie's hips, thumbs almost meeting and he will never, never get tired of it. Of how small and perfect Jamie is around him, how he could enclose him whole and keep him there. Cocooned in his arms and body.



Jenna's compact and lithe, not unlike Jamie but it's never like this with her. Because it's never a fight. And with Jamie it's always a fight. Always.



It's never certain, for even when it is he'll never know when Jamie will run. And it excites him and scares him and excites him in equal measure.



There's something borderline suicidal about the way Jamie rides him, like he almost wishes he could stab himself through.



And it's so good and it hurts just a little and Channing thinks he could come just from this and his hands move up to caress those ribs and chest and Jamie's skin is smooth and rough and hot all at once and loves it he loves it and then something shifts.



Jamie's got him by the hair, looking straight at him, twisting his neck in a slightly awkward angle and Channing is hit by an odd deja vu from their days on the set. And Jamie looks at him, eyes burning.



"Do. Not. Touch. Me"

TELL ME. TELL ME THAT IT HAS NOT MADE YOUR LIFE. I  DARE YOU!!!